Be the Change

Don’t get yourself tired by searching for perfection in people, cause you won’t find it, but [in other hand] searching for self development, and pursuit perfection is considered noble target.

You should consider your body as a hardware, which always need maintenance and developing, plus consider your mind as software which always need updating, and fixing bugs.

If you thought you will achieve development as you grow up normally, you are wrong, you need to seek and work on yourself to achieve what you want.

While I go out, I get shocked from youth of my age, by how do they spend their free time, they take out the chairs to set on the side walk, smoking Arkeela [Bubble hubble], sharing files and videos !! with their cell phones.

It’s summer, and people like to have fun, it’s ok, but the scene, repeat itself every day, from sunset to sun dawn, playing with cards and smoking, nearly 7 hours daily.

They are from my age, from my generation, but I don’t how do they have all that time, yes I’m not working, and yes I’m in my summer vacation, not so busy, but I couldn’t have the chance to set 7 hours at once !!.

Mirror of Time

Have you ever felt in time as it’s one second.

I still remember that 5 years old kid, I remember him while his mother is feeding him, wondering her which kinds of food he likes, cause everything is new for him, the smell, the colors, and my mom’s food still the most delicious I ever tasted, and once I finish, she wipes my mouth with a smooth napkin, then takes me to the tub.

She lifts me up, so I can reach the water, then starts washing them, I can remember the taste of soap entering my mouth, the sound of her bracelets under the water, making quiet and elegant sound.

There was a mirror over the tub, when I stand on my feet, I can barely see top of my head, and when I jump, I see my face for a moment, then I go back to the land.

Once I decided to see my whole face on that mirror, I wanted to feel like grownups when they wash their hands, I brought a chair, and stand on it, then I looked to myself, I started to smile and laugh, Aha, here I am.

Then I stopped smiling, I saw my eyes, those eyes which all the people talk about their beauty, it’s weird that pupil, it’s like you are seeing someone in it, at that moment, I made a wish with all my power, I said: “Oh God, I wish I can see my whole self at the mirror without a chair”.

Year goes, and year comes, worries and problems, joy and happiness, they went without return, I’m now 22 years old on this earth, as usual, I finished my lunch, heading to the tub to wash my hands without any difficult, and as I dry my face, I started to look at the mirror, doing silly faces, suddenly I felt a wave of heat invading my body, Then I felt like all my blood frozen in my veins, followed with a soft shudder.

Like I knew this moment before, I have seen it somewhere, it’s like when the elevator just going down, you feel unbalanced, and your head starts quickly to match the images, before the moment goes.

You don’t want to miss this moment, you want to remember when you felt this before, you know you can do it, but you need more time, don’t move, don’t change anything, image after image, sound after sound, and flashbacks, come on, come on, where are you when I need you, talking to my memory.

Finally, I stopped, looking at my eye’s pupil reflection, smiling, I knew what happened.

I have been bigger [grown up], but why my dreams are smaller.

Check the Arabic version of this post, read it, spread it, enjoy.